Tuesday, May 21, 2024

15 Years Later

Dear Gullu,

It's been 15 years since we lost you. Life should have gotten accustomed to it, and perhaps it has, but also not at the same time. Your father passed away 2 years ago, also in the month of April. Your mom spends April completely in mourning.

Your parents adopted two of your distant cousins, who didn't have parents. Both of them live in Meerut, both are married and have a daughter each. Your mom loves spending time with her granddaughter, the little one has been everything to alleviate her pain day to day, moment by moment.

Your mausaji died a few years ago and mausi also lives in your parental house, where the tenant used to live. In the long years, life has taken its course... 

Genuine friendship is just as hard to find as it used to be. Lately it's as though, revisiting the past brings up new questions - almost like a thought exercise and scenario planning.

What could life have been like if you had still been around? Which things would definitely not have happened, which may have happened, which mistakes could have been avoided?

Would we have remained friends? What kind of person would I have become instead of the one I ended up becoming? Or how else would life have unfolded?

No answers only questions. I guess there is something to be said about round numbers. 15 years bring up much that had been buried and locked away. 

Hope you are in a better place - wherever that is. 

Missing you

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